Perfectionism vs Being Perfected in Christ

We read in the scriptures about being perfect. Matthew 5:48 “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. 3 Nephi 12:48 “Therefore I would that ye should be perfect even as I, or your Father who is in heaven is perfect.”

We’ve come to define “perfect” as being flawless, without mistakes, or without any blemishes. Because of this definition we have fallen into traps when we think about perfection and can misunderstand this doctrine.

Have you ever thought, “I’m not righteous enough?” Or, “I will never be able to keep all the commandments perfectly?” Or, “I keep making mistakes and failing so I shouldn’t attend the temple?” “I’ll never be as good as ______.” “I should just give up because perfection is unattainable.” Do any of these sound familiar?

What do those scriptures mean? If we’re supposed to be perfect, like our Father in heaven, how will we ever have any hope because we continually fall short and continually make mistakes?

Scripture Meaning

President Russell M. Nelson has said, “In Matthew 5:48, the term perfect was translated from the Greek teleios, which means “complete.” Teleios is an adjective derived from the noun telos, which means “end.” The infinitive form of the verb is teleiono, which means “to reach a distant end, to be fully developed, to consummate, or to finish.” Please note that the word does not imply “freedom from error”; it implies “achieving a distant objective.” (“Perfection Pending,” Ensign Nov. 1995, 86)

The type of perfection that requires no mistakes, flaws, or blemishes would be better defined as perfection-ism. And it is a counterfeit of the truth.

Perfectionism

“Perfectionism requires an impossible, self-inflicted standard that compares us to others. This causes guilt and anxiety and can make us want to withdraw and isolate ourselves.” (Vern P. Stanfill, “The Imperfect Harvest,” Liahona, May 2023, 113)

Perfectionism sets unrealistic standards that no one can actually meet. As a young mom, I was afflicted with being a perfectionist. I would vacuum my carpet all in the same direction. Each pass had to be exactly the same distance from the previous one and any marks left behind had to go in the same direction. I used to drive myself crazy trying to make the vacuum marks perfect. Then, as soon as one of my kids ran into the room all the marks were destroyed and it was all I could do to not go over and vacuum again. I’d set up an unrealistic standard for myself, especially with young children.

No one can attain perfection with this definition because we all make mistakes. We all say and do the wrong things. We try our best, but we still make mistakes. We are mortal beings with shortcomings, faults, and traits we need to overcome. Part of our mortal existence is to put off the “natural man” and allow our spiritual self to be in charge.

The Plan

Heavenly Father knew we were going to make mistakes. He knew it! That’s why he sent his only begotten son to perform only what He could perform–the atonement of Jesus Christ. This wasn’t the back-up plan IN CASE we messed up, it was THE plan from the very beginning because He knew every single one of us who has ever been born will mess up and will need to use the atonement of Jesus Christ.

When we focus on being perfect/allow perfectionism to enter into our thoughts and actions, we will become frustrated and hard on ourselves. We will beat ourselves up for not meeting that unrealistic goal. We will focus on things that don’t matter in hopes of attaining what will never be attainable. We simply cannot be flawless as mortals.

Being Perfected in Jesus Christ

“Remember that perfectionism is not the same as being perfected in Christ….

Becoming perfected in Christ is … the process—lovingly guided by the Holy Ghost—of becoming more like the Savior. The standards are set by a kind and all-knowing Heavenly Father and clearly defined in the covenants we are invited to embrace. It relieves us of the burdens of guilt and inadequacy, always emphasizing who we are in the sight of God.” (Vern P. Stanfill, “The Imperfect Harvest,” Liahona, May 2023, 113).

This is a process of BECOMING like the Savior. It does not happen overnight. It won’t happen in a lifetime. It takes time to learn and grow and to become. When we see being perfected in Jesus Christ as a process we can give ourselves grace. We can realize that we do not have to be perfected today because it is something that will happen only after the resurrection as we finally become complete.

The Lord doesn’t expected us to be flawless today. He knows, even on our best days, we are going to make mistakes, transgress commandments or commit sin. He knows that and He loves us.

What Does the Lord Expect?

He expects us to be trying. To be better today than we were yesterday. To be progressing toward our goal of becoming like Him. We need not compare ourselves to others. We need only compare ourselves to ourselves. Are we on the covenant path toward exaltation? Are we making progress? Are we more patient, kind, compassionate? Are we tying to keep the commandments better? While we do need to take inventory of our lives and evaluate where we are, we don’t need to be so hard on ourselves that we give up and give in to Satan. That is what he wants. Satan wants us to be harsh with ourselves and to eventually throw up our hands in resignation. The Lord, on the other hand, wants us to be compassionate with ourselves and when we make mistakes, to get up, brush ourselves off, and keep trying. The Lord loves each one of us and He compassionately cares for each of us. He expects us to be trying, and He will be there every step of the way to pick us up when we inevitably fall.

“God does not need people who are flawless. He seeks those who will offer their “heart and a willing mind” [Doctrine and Covenants 64:34], and He will make them “perfect in Christ” [Moroni 10:32–33]. (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Five Messages That All of God’s Children Need to Hear” [Brigham Young University Education Week devotional, Aug. 17, 2021], 3, speeches.byu.edu)

President Nelson has taught, “We need not be dismayed if our earnest efforts toward perfection now seem so arduous and endless. Perfection is pending. It can come in full only after the Resurrection and only through the Lord. It awaits all who love him and keep his commandments. Let us do the best we can and try to improve each day. When our imperfections appear, we can keep trying to correct them. We can be more forgiving of flaws in ourselves and among those we love.” (“Perfection Pending,” Ensign
, Nov. 1995, 88).

Perfectionism is not the Lord’s way. It is a twisted version of truth. The truth is that being perfected in Jesus Christ is a process and is attainable for each one of us as we put our faith and trust in God. He will guide us and help us to BECOME what He intends for us to become.